Sleeping is overrated, right?

(picture by http://www.ericarankin.com/)
So, getting a full night's sleep has gone from difficult to practically impossible. I love this kid to no end, but I think I'd love him just a little more if he'd show up. Really, the anxiety of "when" is just too much to get over once my head hits the pillow. My thoughts go something like this: is this a real contraction? ok, no just a braxton hicks. dang my groin hurts. come on little guy, don't you want to come out? i've gotta try that barefoot contessa provencal potato salad recipe. who should we have over for dinner when i make that? oh my gosh, that's gotta be his foot poking me. time to turn over. oh my freakin' groin! ok, ev, just breathe. stuff back-pillow halfway under my lower back. i've got to call the mattress company and get our sucky mattress replaced. oooh, lower abdominal cramps; is this a real contraction? doubtful. maybe if i go the bathroom I can fall asleep. Bathroom routine: grab the bed post, slowly roll hips to edge of bed without disturbing the sensitive groin, sharp pain hits, i groan secretly hoping matt can hear and feel sorry for me, slowly lift body from bed, take a moment to steady self with one hand on the wall and limp to the bathroom. crawl back in bed, breathing heavily as if I just did something of significance. re-position the 10 pillows surrounding my body. ok, ev, just try to get comfy, pray for baby again, pray for wisdom again, pray for sleep again, pray for ease of mind again...just pretend your sleeping. rrrrr...this groin thing better go away the second he pops out. did my water just break? maybe that was my plug. take a feel test. nope, just my imagination as usual. why am i sweating? i have two fans pointed straight at me. right arm is asleep, time to re-position. i still need to get paper to print our birth plan. freakin' groin. come on baby, don't you want to come tonight? and so on and so forth...