02 March 2014

A Birth Story: Silas Buswell

I realized it's been almost a year since I've blogged anything about our growing family, and what better way to catch up, than to document the birth of our third sweet baby, Silas Buswell.

As our friends and family know, it was THE CRAZIEST WEEK of our lives.  The short recap is that we:
1. closed on a house on Friday, the 5th
2. bought a third row vehicle also on that Friday, the 5th
3. painted the new house and packed on Saturday and Sunday, the 6th and 7th
4. had a baby on Monday, the 8th
5. moved into the new house on Wednesday, the 10th
6. came home from the hospital with baby on Friday, the 12th

There is no way we could have ever gotten through this week without our family and friends, whose presence and willingness to walk with us through the madness, enabled us to make it happen.

That Sunday evening, as Matt walked around our new house, observing the 15 or so people milling around, doing various needed tasks, and thinking about the massive amount of work that still had to be done, he thought to himself, "what were we thinking?" But it was much too late to turn back!

I was packed, mentally prepared for Monday, and so so so ready to have Silas in my arms and NOT in my womb. Monday morning came, we said our goodbyes to Noah and London telling them that the next time we saw them, Silas would be here. They were both very excited! It was a fairly calm ride to the hospital. Matt dropped me at the door, and I walked in with my insurance card and driver's license. I signed in and was sent to waiting room, and from there, they walked us up to the surgery prep floor where we were given a room. It was so organized, so planned out…so unlike either of my other two experiences! But as I laid on the hospital bed, in my hospital gown, my nerves began to unravel. I had time to think about what was about to happen. In blunt terms, my abdomen was going to be cut open and my baby boy would be born. And I would be awake while it was happening. One of my worst fears was that the anesthesia wouldn't work, and I would feel the surgery in the middle of the procedure. I was also having flashbacks of my body shaking violently and the nausea that hit with Noah and London's births.

Funny how those fears dissipated immediately the second Silas was born, and I had him to look and listen for. Matt remembers that he didn't cry right away, so he was concerned and watching him closely.  Silas was fine though, and soon Matt brought him close to me so that I could see and kiss his sweet little head. I still experienced the same longing and bit of sadness knowing that because this was a cesarean and not a vaginal birth, I wasn't able to hold my sweet boy right away. I had to look at him from a distance, and something about that seemed so unnatural. I also remember feeling such a sense of relief that he was HERE and not inside of me anymore!

They rolled us back to our pre/post surgery room, where they insisted that Silas lay in a warming bed…they wouldn't let me hold him, and I was slighted annoyed by this. With all of the homework I did in preparation for London's birth, I knew that he would warm quickest laying skin to skin with ME; not in the dumb warming bed, while not being held minutes after being born. (And, by the way, this is my only complaint with St. Johns…otherwise, I was very happy yet again with them.)  He did finally warm enough so that they would let me hold and nurse him, and much to my elation, he was right off the bat, an amazing nurser! Praise God, he was (and still is, 8 months later) a fantastic nurser.

From that point on, Silas and I enjoyed a peaceful week bonding in the hospital, and my sweet, generous family worked tirelessly on our move and our new house. We traveled home on Friday morning, and walking in, I saw for the first time, our new house with all of our stuff, and I knew that this is where our young family would spend some of the most special years of our lives. Even though this felt like the first time I'd been in the house, it felt like home. Silas and I were home.