18 August 2011


The thought hit me this week that I have very little time left with JUST Noah. The last couple of weeks I've been so focused on when this baby is going to come, that the seemingly obvious opposite to her arrival escaped me. It will never be just Noah ever again. I should cherish these last days with him. And so I have been. This week has been a week of just the two of us.

Here's the run down:
Monday we visited what might be his new "school" (more on this later), then we had a leisurely lunch where we shot his space shuttle across the table at each other for a while, hit the grocery store and then headed home. Played more that afternoon too. Tuesday, we hung out hiding, playing, talking and watching cartoons until my doctor's appointment, and today we stayed in all day (mainly due to how crappy I've been feeling, but nonetheless, in we were). We played, cleaned, talked, and made silly faces at each other at breakfast and lunch.

Not every moment has been smooth though. For instance, today we had a serious nap show down. After him getting out of his bed nine times, hitting me twice, getting his two favorite toys taken away, and getting two spankings, I won. And when it was finally time for him to get up, we were closer than ever. I absolutely love it when the Lord confirms my tactics this way. He needed some boundaries, I set them, cried while I did it, but did it, and he felt more secure with me after it was over. Sheesh, what a "nap time."
My point is that I've really connected with him this week, and I unfortunately feel like it's partly because I haven't been social. I firmly believe that Noah needs time with his friends in social environments, but there is something so special about just spending time cultivating our relationship.  Talking, interacting, playing, teaching, nurturing, loving...not just rushing to get somewhere. I know I've thought about this before, and I've probably written about it too, but I've yet to discover the balance of really growing his spirit and providing activities. I thankfully do feel like the Lord is teaching me these things, but I kind of just hate having to learn them along the way. I want to know all the right things right now! I want Noah to get the best mom, and I certainly am not that. This week Christ is teaching me that it's not about how good I can be though, but how good He is, and that's where I need to look. I've already failed a million times, but that's not what He sees, and I'm hoping it's not what Noah will see either.

Rambling over, I am just really loving this week and all the time with Noah. He's growing up so fast...he'll be three in less than two weeks, and he'll also have a sister for the rest of his life in (what I hope is) less than two weeks!

Sweet, growing times.


Jennifer R. said...

I remember that when I was at the end with Jude. I cried because I would not have "alone time" with Abe anymore. You do carve it out bu it tends to be a little work to do so. The best advise I got was that when Abe needed something and I was doing something with Jude (as a newborn) I would say I know that getting/doing that is very important to you and I will be happy to do it as soon as Jude if finished eating/getting cleaned up etc. IT seemed to help.

Sarah Jane said...

Made me tear up a little bit thinking about those "last moments" with Lu before Diesel came. It was definitely sweet and important. It's also been hard adapting to having no "alone time" with my new baby either. It's so fun to have them together, but sometimes I miss just being able to make D laugh on my own without Lula trying to get in on the fun! Anyway, just life and the way it is. Can't wait to meet baby girl!