Reflections

 Watched a movie tonight where the main character loses her three day old baby. Heart breaking. And I just happen to be home by myself this weekend. Matt and Noah have gone down to the lake for the Fourth weekend. I'm too pregnant and generally miserable to ride in the car that long, so I stayed home. Bad movie choice for being home alone (which pretty much never happens) and seeing all of Noah's little toys and his room without his presence to occupy them. Made me miss him more than I thought I would honestly. These moments are kind of sad but also healthy I think. It's good to miss the people you love the most; brings out a new perspective of appreciation and love for them.

Before he left this morning, Noah told me he loved me several times and I got lots of hugs and kisses. Recently he's been pretty cuddly with me too. I think he senses the changes ahead within our family, and so he's storing up the love and attention. My theory anyway. It's weird to think that in 7 weeks it will never just be the three of us again. I'm ridiculously excited to meet (still nameless) baby girl, but also a little sad to say goodbye to our current family dynamic. Three years of just Noah and us, and before him, 9 years of just us. I feel like it's so cliche to say how blessed we are, but really, we are. God has given us a beautiful family, and the changes that keep happening are shaping our lives forever. 

I wonder how Noah and this baby will click. Will he be jealous? Will he be mama's little helper? Will he try to jump on her? Will he revert and want to be a baby again, breastfeeding and all? All things to be determined very very soon!